Pregnancy Journal

2/18/2000 (Friday)- Positive pregnancy test! After completing the home test this morning, I ran over to the doctor's office to have a blood test done just to make sure. I had to wait 6 hours for the lab to call me at work but I'm pregnant alright! My HCG level was 1494 (for those of you who care and/or know what that means).

2/29/2000 (Tuesday)- I had my first doctor's appointment today. It was with the nurse and was basically just paperwork and a trip to the lab. All my lab work came back great and my HCG level is up to 38,189. Next week I get to see the doctor for the first time.

3/8/2000 (Wednesday)- Not only was today my 29th Birthday, but I had an ultrasound done and got to see our baby! Right now it just looks like a little blob but the heart is beating and I'm at approximately 7 weeks. I go back in early April and hopefully we will here the heartbeat using the Doppler. I can't wait.

Baby at 7 weeks gestation.
The blob between the two plus signs is the baby.
The round object to the right is the yolk sac which develops into the placenta.

3/23/2000 (Thursday)- Well, my hopes of getting through the first trimester without throwing up were dashed tonight. However, I think I may have eaten something bad and it wasn't necessarily morning (in this case evening) sickness.

3/27/2000 (Monday)- I had a little scare Saturday night with some spotting. I've also lost 4 pounds in the last few weeks. I showed up unannounced at my doctor's office this morning and they were really nice about getting me in. The doctor did another ultrasound and everything looks fine. I wanted to make sure that little flickering heartbeat was still there. I was supposed to have an appointment on April 5th but my next one is now on April 24th.

Baby at 10 weeks gestation.
Once again it is still just a blob. No more yolk sac though. That has developed in to the placenta.
They probably won't do another ultrasound until closer to the 20 week mark.
By then you should be able to see something that actually looks like a baby.

4/15/2000 (Saturday)- Now in my 12th week, I am finally finding it uncomfortable to sleep flat on my stomach. : ( Time to get out an extra pillow that I can rest my tummy on. I still don't really look pregnant but I can feel a definite lump in there that didn't seem to be there even last week.

4/24/2000 (Monday)- I just got back from my doctor appointment. I am at 13 weeks and 4 days. I got to hear the heartbeat for the first time today. She found the it right away. That was pretty amazing. Everything looks good. I even dropped some of the weight I gained pigging out in the first trimester. At the rate I was going I would have been huge! I go to the lab on May 11th so they can draw more blood for my Triple Screen test and I see the doc again on May 22nd.

5/11/2000 (Thursday)- Went in and had blood drawn for the Triple Screen test. I have a feeling everything is just fine so I'm not really worried about the results. Mom and Dad brought me a few maternity items they had picked up. I don't need them yet. My stretch pants and t-shirts are still fitting fine. I'm not sure how much our food budget has gone up but I'm sure it has. I seem to have become an instant gratification junkie. If I'm hungry for something, I want it NOW. Even if it means a quick trip to the store. No late night cravings though. I'm usually too tired to think about food in the middle of the night.

5/17/2000 (Wednesday)- I got kicked today! (Or punched or poked or whatever is going on in there.) I was at work walking back from the bathroom when suddenly I felt this little thump. I thought I had felt something last week but I wasn't sure. This was definitely movement and not digestion or something. Pretty exciting.

I've seemed to have "popped" out all of a sudden. Just the other day I was complaining that I thought I would be bigger by now at 17 weeks (I can't believe I'm complaining about not being big enough! I must be nuts!). But suddenly I can definitely tell by feeling and looking in the mirror that my shape has changed. I can still hide it if I want under a baggy shirt or something. I really don't have the classic pregnant look yet, I'm just at that, "Is she pregnant or just getting fat?" stage. "I don't know, I'm not going to ask her. You ask her!" "No way! You ask her..." How frustrating.

5/18/2000 (Thursday)- This has nothing to do with my pregnancy but today is the 20th anniversary of the eruption of Mt St Helens. As many of you know, Mt St Helens is very special to me and I've been thinking about her a lot lately. Where were you when the lady blew?

5/22/2000 (Monday)- I had another great doctor's appointment this morning. She found the heartbeat right away again. Blood pressure is good. The results of my Triple Screen blood test came back excellent. For my age range the average risk for Down Syndrome is 1 in 720, mine came back 1 in 2400. For spina bifida and other neural tube defects you are at risk if the numbers come back below 500, mine was in the 3600's. I wasn't really worried about any of that but it is nice to know I can eliminate them from my "Things To Worry About" checklist. I go in for the big ultrasound on Monday, June 19th. Yeah! That should be exciting. Except for the 32 ounces of water I have to hold while they are poking and prodding around.

5/23/2000 (Tuesday)- I just couldn't stand it anymore. I had to register for something. I spent the morning browsing around the online store at BabyCenter.com and registered for a few things I hadn't seen in my many trips through the various baby departments. Brian and I plan to register at Target and probably Toys R Us after we find out the gender (please cooperate baby!) but I just couldn't wait an more. :)

5/31/2000 (Wednesday)- I started using the Palmer's Cocoa Butter Massage Cream about a week ago. I don't really know if it is helping with stretch marks or not but I may as well give it a go. I put it on at night when I go to bed and in the morning when I get out of the shower. I already have stretch marks from before (unfortunately) but maybe this will lessen the appearance of those and make others not appear at all.

6/6/2000 (Tuesday)- We have a crib! It's all set up in the nursery and perfect! Thanks for getting into a big boy bed just in time Gavin! This weekend my parents purchased an almost brand new, Graco 3-speed open top battery powered swing at a garage sale for $25.00! Exactly like the $89.00 one we were looking at in the store. Yippee!

6/8/2000 (Thursday)- As of today we've made it to the halfway mark! Yeah! 20 weeks to go!

6/9/2000 (Friday)- Had a little bit of excitement this morning. I got up at 6 am to go to the bathroom and noticed some blood. I didn't really think much of it because I have had some spotting in the past. But by 10:00 when it still hadn't stopped I decided it was time to head for the doctor's office. Luckily Brian was off work today so I didn't have to go alone. My doctor is not in the office on Friday and after the nurse talked to the doctor on call they told me to head across the street to the hospital and they would check everything out over at Labor and Delivery. Never having been to L & D we had no idea where to go so we went in through Emergency. The lady took all of my information, put a hospital bracelet on me, and then I got a wheelchair ride down to Labor and Delivery. At least now I know where it is.

Once in the exam room the nurse hooked me up to a fetal monitor. It took a minute to find the heartbeat but there it was, loud and strong. I'll never get tired of hearing that sound. I stayed hooked up to the monitor for about an hour and a half. We could watch the heart rate on the monitor and hear the baby everytime it moved around. Sometimes we'd lose the heartbeat altogether if the baby moved out from under the monitor. The monitor didn't show any contractions which was good news. It is way too early to be in pre-term labor!

After they got in touch with my doctor on her cell phone the nurse did an internal exam and discovered I have what is called a friable cervix. She said it is quite common and the cervix looks like it has a rug burn on it. Basically my cervix is susceptible to bleeding. One thing that can cause the bleeding is if I sit for long periods of time. That makes sense since my data entry job doesn't really allow me to move around much. So, I'm supposed to avoid heavy lifting, frequent trips up and down stairs, and I should try to get up and move around at least once an hour. I can do that.

I scheduled an appointment to see my doctor on Monday. She may want to move my ultrasound up from the 19th but at that point it will only be a week away anyway so I'm not sure if I'll get an earlier one or not. I'll update again on Monday when I get back from the doctor!

6/12/2000 (Monday)- I went to my appointment this morning. I've now gained 11 pounds and blood pressure looks really good. The doctor found the heartbeat and we talked about my hospital visit. Since nothing else had happened all weekend, she said see you next week after your ultrasound and sent me on my way. Cool.

Later that day I ended up having some more bleeding, actually quite a bit of bleeding after, well, intimate relations. : ) After about a half hour I called the doctor's office to let them know what had happened. The bleeding had already stopped by this time thankfully. The nurse told me to take it easy and she would talk to the doctor about moving my ultrasound up. She called back a little while later and said the best they could do is Friday at 1:00 at South Sound Radiology. They want to check the position of the placenta because if that is laying too low it could be contributing to the bleeding.

So on Friday, I'll go to the ultrasound but then I have to hop on the freeway to make it to my parents place in time to go camping. I'll do another update next Sunday night or Monday morning to let you know if it's a boy or a girl!

6/19/2000 (Monday)- It's a Girl !!! The ultrasound on Friday went really well. The tech said everything looks great. We got to see her little heart beating away, her cute little face (looks like she has my nose), legs, arms, fingers, she even pointed out the kidneys. I'm glad she knew what she was looking at! I'm a little disappointed in the still photos the tech captured for us but the 12 minute video of the ultrasound is pretty neat if you know what you're looking at. The whole thing took about 45 minutes and she was very cooperative and stayed still trough most of it but she'd had enough towards the end and was moving all over. She was rubbing at her eye and punching and kicking. Her feet are down right now. No wonder I'm in the bathroom every hour. My poor bladder! The tech said the placenta looked like it was up away from the cervix so we're still not sure what was causing the bleeding but we were told not to worry about it.

I had an appointment at the doctor today. We were supposed to go over the ultrasound results but the office had not received them from South Sound Radiology yet so it was just a normal, pee in a cup, blood pressure, listen to the heartbeat visit. I go back on July 17th.

June 15th, 2000 ultrasound at 21 and a half weeks


This is Tessa from the front (head to left, torso to the right). It should be clearer but she moved just as the tech paused the picture. You could see her eyes and nose. She has her arm crossed over her chest, shoulder at the top.	Here's her little foot (heel to the left, toes to the right). She had her heel pressed into my bladder for a good part of the ultrasound. I swear she thinks I drink all that water just so she has her own personal trampoline to bounce on.

Here's Tessa's left arm as she was rolling over. Her elbow is to the right and hand to the left.	This is the top of Tessa's head and the little rows to the left are the fingers of her hand that she had up near the face. You can see all the little bones in her fingers.

6/22/2000 (Thursday)- Did some shopping today. I went to Target looking for maternity pants but all they have out right now is shorts. I had already bought two pair of maternity shorts a few weeks ago so I got a couple of tops. My normal clothes still fit pretty well but I seem to be getting bigger on a daily basis and thought I may as well get something. I also found a cute sleeping gown on the clearance rack for $6.20. The gowns are nice because little babies generally want to draw their feet up anyway and it makes it easier for late night diaper changes because there are no snaps to deal with.

I also went to Hallmark and bought a baby book. Yeah! I like the Hallmark ones because I want to be able to add more pages. The one I got is basically a really nice three ring binder and they have extra pages you can buy that are just the right size. The pages that came with it are really cute too.

6/26/2000 (Monday)- Brian and I spent several hours at Toys R Us on Friday registering for all types of baby stuff. I'd take things off the shelves and Brian would use the little scanner thing. This morning I went to Target and registered for some more stuff there that I couldn't find at Toys R Us. Brian is out of town all week at a computer training conference so I am on my own until Friday night. :(

7/9/2000 (Sunday)- My Mom and I spent a couple of hours at the Babies R Us store at Southcenter. My parents are getting us the stroller/car seat combo as a shower gift and she wanted me to go with her so she as sure she was getting the right one. After a few hours of trying out several, talking with some other mommies-to-be that were there, and inundating one of the sales assistants with a million questions, I ended up picking out a different one than I thought I wanted! Wouldn't you know it, out of stock. But at least I know which one I'm getting.

7/12/2000 (Wednesday)- I haven't updated in awhile but there hasn't been much going on. Tessa has been pretty active and I get nervous when she is still for long periods of time. I'm still trying to get used to working days again after being on swing shift for almost a year. 5:50 am comes way to early.

I went out to the children's resale store this morning. I had some credit there so I spent a whopping $1.84 for a cute little onesie that will be adorable under a pair of overalls, a pretty little light green dress with a carrot pattern in it that should be just right for Easter next year, and the cutest little sweater. The sweater is hand knit and was just too precious to pass up. It's a light blue with little pink flowers stitched around the collar and bottom of the sleeves.

7/15/2000 (Saturday)- Had a great time at the Smith Family Reunion. Got to see a lot of family that we haven't seen in almost a year. Even more than that in some cases. Many of them we also saw on the 4th of July so we got a double treat this year. A few of the family members organized a baby shower in conjunction with the reunion. My sister in law, Martha, brought a cute cake and even found plates and napkins with sun, moon and stars on them! I snagged a clean napkin to put in the baby book.

We got some great gifts from the family. As soon as we got home I set to work opening everything and putting it all away. I put up the mobile we got from Rick and Elizabeth and their family, tried out the Snugli baby carrier that was from Gary and Kathy and the kids (cute homemade card you guys!), and attached the Mommy Womb Sounds Bear from Martha and the girls to the side of the crib. Paul and Tracy gave us a beautiful Family History book. Now I just need to pin down a few of the sister in laws so I can get all the names and dates to put in it!

7/16/2000 (Sunday)- Got up bright and early and went to Portland to visit my friend Margaret. There is a Babies R Us store near her house and that was our main stop of the day. My Mom had put $200 in my checking account so if they had the stroller/car seat I had picked out I could get it there. They had it (only three in stock) so I snatched one. It was the same price as the Babies R Us at Southcenter had it for but being in Oregon, there was no tax! I know, we only saved $16 buying it in Oregon but every little bit helps! So now we have a beautiful Evenflo Easy Comfort Premier Travel System. The car seat base stays in the car and then you can attach the seat to the stroller. You only need one hand to fold it up, it has a big tray on top for drinks and keys and stuff and a huge basket down below for the diaper bag. I love it.

I also bought a bedding set for the crib. Actually, I used the money that we got at the family shower from my brother in law Bob and his son Jason. The set was on sale for exactly the amount they gave us! Tessa says thank you for the bedding set Uncle Bob and cousin Jason! :) I removed the nursery picture I had on this page because I ended up getting a different pattern. It is still the sun, moon and stars theme but not as expensive (they wanted $170 for the set I liked originally!). This set still has the four pastel colors in it (yellow, pink, green and blue) so I can pretty much use any color of pastel crib sheet.

We also left the store with a Graco Pack 'n Play Yard with Bassinet. Margaret and her husband Paul bought that for us as a shower gift. We'll use that a lot as Tessa's bed when we visit my parents house and I even think it will fit nicely in their motorhome. We will also be using it in our room for the first few months so I don't have to go down the hallway to the nursery every time I need to nurse. Margaret also bought Tessa some clothes but I didn't get to bring those home with me. :) A few weeks ago when I saw Margaret and Paul they gave us some cloth diapers (they make great burp cloths) and a beautiful hand knit blanket that Margaret's great aunt made for us.

I also bought a maternity bathing suit at JCPenny's. Ugh! As if buying a regular swimming suit isn't depressing enough!

7/17/2000 (Monday)- Had my doctor's appointment this morning. I'm now at 25 and a half weeks. About 14 weeks to go. Starting to feel real now. Everything looks great. She says my uterus is measuring right on (from top to bottom however many weeks along you are is how many centimeters your uterus should measure, give or take a centimeter or two), my blood pressure was good, and she found Tessa's heartbeat right away. Nice and strong. I go back on the 31st. We've made it to the point where I go every two weeks instead of once a month. I have to stop by the lab first and drink a sugary solution and then go back to the lab after my appointment so they can draw blood. This is to check for gestational diabetes. I'm also supposed to start doing "kick counts" when she is active. I should be able to feel at least 4 good kicks in a one hour period. This is just to make sure she is staying active and is not in any kind of distress. Periods of no movement is common because babies do sleep sometimes but I hate it when she hasn't moved in awhile. I'd much rather get kicked in the bladder than have her be still. Actually right now it would be punched in the bladder because she has turned head down since my last appointment.

7/20/2000 (Thursday)- First of all, today is our 4th Wedding Anniversary! Yeah!

Went to our first childbirth class last night. It's going to be a great class. This class is based on the teachings in the "Birthing From Within" book. There are 5 couples (Well, maybe four. A young couple never came back from break.) so it is easy to ask questions and not feel stupid. Three of us are first time mom's so we were asking the woman with the four year old son a lot of stuff. Last night we mostly learned about things we can do in the weeks before we go into labor to try and coax the baby into a position that will reduce back labor. Babies are supposed to come out with their face towards your spine so if the mother can sit and do other things that makes the baby turn that way before dropping into the pelvis, labor is usually shorter and not as painful. Very interesting research.

The thing I like most about this class is the instructor really tells it like it is. She was a labor and delivery nurse for years and years and is now a registered midwife and works in conjunction with the Providence Health System, but her loyalties lie with the parents. From what I have heard, a lot of birthing classes are to teach you how to be a good patient in such and such a hospital. This class we are learning it all. I feel more prepared for this adventure already!

7/24/2000 (Monday)- Got together today for lunch with a bunch of my friends that I worked with at Tutor Time. It was a lot of fun seeing everyone and catching up. They turned it into a baby shower which was sweet. I got some cute baby clothes, a really soft blanket, a towel and some washcloths, and several other cute little things.

7/31/2000 (Monday)- Had an appointment today with the doctor. I had to stop by the lab first and drink the sugary stuff for my glucose tolerance test. I went back an hour later after my appointment and some wandering around so they could draw blood. My appointment went well. My blood pressure was 106/70 and the heartbeat was strong and easy to find. I was still the same weight I was two weeks ago so I'm still at a 20 pound weight gain so far for the pregnancy. Not bad. I go back again on the 14th. I'm assuming if I pass the glucose test I won't hear from them until I go in next time.

The only real problem I've been having is my gallstones are acting up again like they did last summer. The attacks last about 4 hours and nothing seems to help once it starts. Even my back hurts during one. I just need to modify my diet by cutting way back on the carbs like I did last summer and I should be okay. She wants me to really watch it though because she doesn't want me to have them removed until after Tessa is born. Surgery now could trigger pre-term labor and then I'd be on bed rest for the next 3 months.

8/2/2000 (Tuesday)- Had another childbirth class tonight. We took a tour of the Family Birth Center at the hospital. I wasn't as impressed as I thought I would be. The rooms are very nice but it just didn't seem as homey as I would have liked. Each labor/delivery/recovery (LDR) room has a TV, telephone, sleeper couch, adjustable lighting, bathroom with a hand held massager in the shower, greenish wallpaper on the walls, and a labor bed that breaks down so the bottom third can be removed to add foot rests or a birthing bar or whatever you need for delivery. We need to bring a little stereo if we want to have music during birth and there is a jacuzzi tub but it is way down the hallway and didn't look too comfortable. There's a little nursery isolette in the room where they can do all the after birth stuff on the baby right there in the room. They can clean the baby, weigh and measure her, give her those first shots and do all the other newborn stuff. It has a warming light over it that can be removed once the doctor is all done so we won't hit our heads on it when we are changing her during the rest of our hospital stay and this is also where she'll sleep if I ever put her down. : )

A few hours after the birth, you and the baby are then moved to a postpartum room down the hall. Our hospital has 9 LDR rooms and 17 postpartum rooms. We didn't get to see one of the postpartum rooms but the nurse said it is just the same as the LDR rooms except it has a real bed in it not the labor bed. Some hospitals you stay in the same room the whole time you are there. That would be nice. Oh well, can't beat the convenience of this hospital being right across the street. Walking I could be at the front doors in about 3 minutes (maybe less if I get a WALK signal right away at the crosswalk).

8/10/2000 (Thursday)- I am now officially at 29 weeks. Only 11 to go. Hopefully less than that. I still think my original due date of October 17th is closer than the October 25th date the doctor gave me. The numbers just don't add up right when I use that date. I'm pretty sure I know when I got pregnant.

Last night was our 4th childbirth class. We spent most of the class talking about epidurals and everything that goes with them. I had already decided I didn't want one but now I am more convinced than ever that I am going to do everything in my power to avoid an epidural. I don't wan the IV, or the continuous fetal monitoring, or the pitocin because the epidural has slowed my contractions, or the catheter because I can't get up to pee, or the after birth shakes, or the needle in my back, or any of it. Women had babies for thousands of years without numbing the lower half of their bodies. Yes, I understand there will be pain but obviously it is manageable (or at the very least, non-fatal pain) or else we would have died out a long time ago. I'm not going into the hospital for a quick fix to my big belly, I'm going to give birth. I want to do that as naturally and uncomplicated as possible.

8/14/2000 (Monday)- Had another doctor's appointment today. Everything is looking great. I passed my glucose tolerance test with flying colors. My level was a 98 and the upper limit is 140. If you go over 140 you've "failed" and have to take the 3-hour glucose tolerance test (3 blood draws instead of just one) and if you fail that one too you are considered to have gestational diabetes and have to go on a special diet and give yourself insulin shots and such. Not fun, so I'm thrilled I passed.

I asked my doctor a bunch of questions about labor and delivery and the things I can do and not do. I was glad to hear she doesn't require an IV to be started right away but some of the other answers have me worried. Suddenly her way of delivering a baby and my vision of birthing are not meshing too well. Brian and I have some thinking to do about how we can make this birth go the way WE want, not the way the doctors and nurses at the hospital routinely do it.

8/16/2000 (Wednesday)- Tonight was our 5th and final childbirth class. Next week I go to a breastfeeding class but Brian will be in Bellevue so I'll be going solo. One of our couples was missing from class because their baby boy arrived on Saturday! The dad stopped by for a little bit because he remembered it was their turn to bring snack! What a guy. He told us all about the birth. A couple things that struck my in his story was how much activity there was in the hospital (they couldn't wait to leave and get home to someplace quiet) and the fact that the doctors were really pushing to augment her labor with drugs. They actually said, "You don't want to have this baby at 3am do you?" Who cares what time the baby arrives? I just think the doctor didn't want to be there until 3am.

We spent most of class talking about babies and what they look like and need in the first few hours after birth. All three remaining couples in the class are expecting girls so we quickly went over circumcision (just out of curiosity) and talked about things we can try to do to make life a little easier the first few weeks home. It was a really great series of classes and we learned SO much from them. I'm glad we didn't take the standard, "How To Be A Good Patient At This Hospital" class.

8/23/2000 (Wednesday)- Big News! We're going to do a homebirth! If you've been reading the saga so far you know that Brian and I have had some doubts in the past few weeks concerning the hospital and my OB/GYN. Things just were not feeling right. Well, about a week and a half ago we started looking into doing a homebirth instead. I meet with two wonderful midwives yesterday (Debra and Beverly) and we are on the road to homebirth. I spent over an hour at their office. Most of my OB appointments are 10 minutes at the most and most of that time is with the nurse or waiting for the doctor.

Debra and Beverly said I asked great questions and were very impressed by how knowledgeable I was concerning my different options and all the terminology involved. I like to be prepared. :) They are both very qualified (Debra has delivered over 900 babies) and we just kind of clicked. Finally someone UNDERSTANDS and CARES. I'm not saying my OB didn't care but when your one patient among several dozen and it would kind of be luck of the draw for me to get her for delivery, I kind of felt lost in the shuffle. Debra and Beverly don't have any other clients due for several weeks on either side of my due date (which got changed by the way!) so they can really be attentive to Brian and I.

After we did about 45 minutes worth of talking and getting to know what each other's birth expectations were, they did my first prenatal exam. I was thrilled that they moved my due date back up to October 18th instead of the 25th. That's a lot closer to the due date that I have been quoting all along. I know when I got pregnant and the 25th just didn't match up. That means I only have 8 weeks to go! The best part about the exam is that they TOLD me what my blood pressure and the fetal heart rate and the fundal height was. I didn't have to ASK and then get a vague, "Oh, everything looks fine" response like I always did from my OB.

I'm keeping my Monday appointment with my OB so I can tell her it will be my last appointment with her. I'm sure she'll try to tell me I should reconsider. If we didn't live right across the street from the hospital I don't think I would feel quite so comfortable about our decision. I really don't think anything will happen that will require hospital transport but it is nice to know it's there. My next appointment with the midwives is on Tuesday the 29th.

8/24/2000 (Thursday)- Last night was my breastfeeding class that I signed up for when we registered for the childbirth classes. Most of the information was just common sense information. I suppose someone who has little to no experience around babies probably found the class much more informative than I did. The class instructor is a lactation consultant who was laid off from St Peter Hospital on June 1st because they discontinued their lactation consultant program. There used to be someone at the hospital who's only job was to help new mothers and babies get started with breastfeeding and to do a home visit a few days after birth. Now the regular OB nurses have "some training" to help with lactation but there is no longer an expert on staff. Just one more reason to do a homebirth!

8/28/2000 (Monday)- Our Birth Kit arrived today! There is a ton of stuff in there for only $34.00! 20 of those plastic lined chux pads, looks like two big tarp type things, sanitary pads, gauze pads, 10 pairs of latex gloves, a red garbage bag (for medical waste I assume), a bottle of iodine, sterile lubricating jelly, a suction bulb, and a whole baggie of little stuff like the cord clamp, foot printing ink pads, straws, and other things I can't identify. Pretty cool. This is finally starting to feel like it's really going to happen!

I had what will probably be my last appointment with my OB today. She asked me what was up because my request for a copy of my file was right up front in my file this morning. I told her we were thinking of switching to a midwife but weren't sure yet (even though we are definitely switching). I lied to her because I want the confirmation letter from our insurance company saying they will pay the full amount for the midwife. I didn't want to burn any bridges quite yet. There shouldn't be a problem because we are double covered under the same insurance but I'm not taking any chances.

She warned me that we were taking a risk with a homebirth. I wanted to point out to her that according to all the research, a homebirth attended by a skilled midwife is just as safe for mothers and babies of a routine pregnancy as a hospital birth. Plus the added benefits of not being exposed to so many foreign germs and less interventions makes for healthier mommies and babies after delivery. I didn't want to get into a debate though. It's a no win argument. She's an OB and delivers babies at the hospital, that's just not what we want. I told her we live right next door (our apartment is next door to the doctor's office and across the street from the hospital) so if there were any problems we are really close.

I'm getting ready to head out the door to a Homebirth Network picnic. Actually they decided that title was too restrictive so it is officially called The Community for Positive Birthing and Parenting. They get together on the fourth Monday of each month and usually have a speaker or some sort of focus topic for the evening. The summer meetings are more just get togethers. I'm looking forward to meeting some other mom's who have done a home birth or are getting ready to do one like me. Best of all, one of the other couples from our childbirth class is supposed to come. She is due around the same time I am and I am looking forward to hearing how her homebirth plans are going.

8/29/2000 (Tuesday)- The picnic last night was fun. I met some nice people but I mostly sat and talked with our friends from the childbirth class. They are getting just as excited as we are. The next meeting is on September 25th. They are supposed to have someone there to talk about hypno-birthing. Sounds interesting.

Today was my second midwife appointment. Brian was able to get off work for a few hours and go with me. The appointment was at 4:00 and once again it lasted over an hour. They had received my medical file from the OB/GYN and they actually went over it with me! All those blood draws and cultures and peeing in a cup results were in my file and they let me see all the notes and everything. It was so neat. At the doctor's office they kept that thing guarded like gold or something. The nurse wouldn't even leave it in the room in between her taking my blood pressure and the doctor coming in. Apparently my pap smear back in February came back with an odd result but I was never told that. They were surprised I hadn't been offered some medication to clear up the minor infection I had (and probably still have). We did a swab that they are sending into the lab that they use to see what's up. According to my chart my iron level was a little low at the end of July but they did a finger poke blood draw to test it now and it is fine and actually a bit higher than they expected.

I gave them all of the paperwork that they had given me to fill out at the last appointment and we went over more of my medical and pregnancy history. We also gave them our answers to the Birth Philosophy questions they asked us to answer. After they answered the list of questions we had brought with us to the appointment, they took my blood pressure (109/57, an all time low!) and measured the fundal height (34 cm) and checked to make sure she was still head down. She is. Everything is looking great. Next time we are going to talk about the newborn procedures and the options we have regarding those.

8/30/2000 (Wednesday)- Today is the 33 week mark. Only 7 to go! We got our confirmation from the insurance company today that they will cover the cost of the midwife. Yeah! Now I need to write my OB a nice letter to thank her for her care to this point and cancel the appointment with her I had gone ahead and set up for September 11th. Guess it's okay to burn that bridge now.

9/5/2000 (Tuesday)- What a busy day! I'm so tired! Went to work this morning at 7:00am as usual. At 11:30, the data entry group had a potluck lunch (we do one of these once a month) and then they had a baby shower for me! We got more great stuff. Some of the gift highlights were a homemade hooded towel and washcloth from Jill, a $50 Carters gift certificate and some diapers from Ruby and Linda, a cute set of three rattle toys and a little pink outfit from Suzi, more diapers and a pink romper from Dori, a little bracelet with Tessa's name engraved on it from Amy, Brad and Cam, and a crib mattress from the whole gang! I already put the mattress in the crib and put all the bedding on it that I had bought previously. After presents, we had cake and punch. Yum.

All the festivities were over about 1:00 so I tried to get some work done before I had to leave for my midwife appointment at 2:15. Debra was in Seattle at a staff meeting as the midwifery school she teaches at so it was just Beverly and their student midwife, Gretchen. Everything is still looking great. The swab we did last week came back and I still have the infection but it is not as highly concentrated as it was in February. It's just an increase in the natural bacteria that is already there but this has been linked to preterm labor so I'm supposed to start drinking acidophilus milk and put lemon in my water to try and even back out the pH level just in case. We talked about things to watch for that might be a sign of preterm labor. I don't think that will be a problem though. As of tomorrow I'm 34 weeks along so I just need to make it 3 more weeks technically. Tessa has flipped from one side to the other so now her back is on my right side but she is still head down so that is the important thing. I was there for about an hour and 15 minutes this time. I just love the fact that I can actually talk to these ladies and they LISTEN to me! I'm getting more excited everyday. I go back again next Tuesday on September 12th.

After my appointment I had to hustle back to work by 4:45 so I could finish off my shift before everyone went home at 6:00. Now I'm ready for a nap!

9/9/2000 (Sunday)- Last night I moved the swing out of our room and into the dining room so I could set up the pack 'n play bassinet in the corner of our room. It is almost within arms reach. After Tessa arrives I might move my bedside table to the other side of the bassinet so Tessa's bed will be right up next to ours. But now at night she can sleep in our room with us and during the day she'll sleep in her crib in her room.

My friend Jennifer from work and her daughter stopped by yesterday afternoon. She had a gift for Tessa she wanted to drop off and I needed to give her a going away present since she got a full time position in another building. She bought Tessa the cutest little pink bunting. I don't have very many warm things for her and this will be perfect to put her in after we get her dressed for car trips. It doesn't have legs, it's just like a little sleeping bag thing with arms. I have another one of kind of the same design that my mom found for us but it is a much thicker one with a hood and a bit bigger so we will use that one in December and January when it is really cold and she has grown a little.

My mom went shopping today and got us some crib sheets. That's one thing we didn't have. I had one that came in the bedding set but that was it. She was also on her way to get us a baby bathtub. We didn't get one of those at the showers either. I know she has some other clothes for us too. Next Sunday I am going to Issaquah to have lunch with a bunch of my friends from high school so I will stop by mom and dad's while I'm up there. I need to use some of mom's scrapbooking stuff while I'm there so I can do some more pages in the baby book. Hopefully she has the pictures from the baby shower out of her camera developed so I can combine them with mine and do some shower pages.

9/11/2000 (Monday)- I'm an Aunt! My step brother Steve and his wife Jo Lee are the proud new parents of a baby daughter, Callie Jean. She was born this morning by cesarean section at 10:07 am weighing in at 10 pounds, 1 ounce and measuring 20 inches long. Yeah! Tessa will have a cousin to play with!

9/12/2000 (Tuesday)- I had another midwife appointment today. Things are still looking great. My blood pressure was 87/56 (can't get much more relaxed than that!) and I'm measuring at 37 cm. That's a little ahead since I am at 35 weeks but Debra said it is because Tessa is sitting so far up. I'm definitely carrying high. She seems to love to nestle up under my lungs so I can't breathe. Lying on my back, even for a short time, is no longer an option. I can barely lie that way for the few minutes it takes them to measure and listen for the heartbeat. Tessa has also flopped back around so her back is on the left again. Yeah! Now when she drops into my pelvis sometime in the next few weeks (bye bye bladder!) she should then turn so her face is towards my back and I won't have back labor because of her hard little skull pressing on my spine.

Another piece of good news is that my Group B Strep test came back negative. It's another one of those things that millions of people are a carrier of and it has no symptoms or effects until the birth of a baby. If the mom has Group B Strep, it can pass to the baby as it comes through the birth canal and in 1% of mom's who are positive it can cause some breathing problems or other complications in the baby if mom is not treated with antibiotics before giving birth. We are going to retest at my 37 week appointment just to make sure it stays negative (it's one of those hit or miss things) because we did my first test a bit early at 33 weeks. I'm allergic to amoxicillan which is the antibiotic of choice for treatment so I'm glad it looks like I'm not going to have to worry about treating it.

I also checked out a book and a video from their lending library. Gentle Birth Choices and the accompanying video talks about the benefits of home or birthing center births over hospital births. I cried through all the births they showed on the video and am finding the book very interesting and am getting some good ideas on how to make our homebirth even more special and memorable.

9/13/2000 (Wednesday)- I hate insurance companies. I have to resubmit the Verification of Insurance Benefits forms because they filled them out wrong. On the line where they are supposed to fill in the amount the insurance company will pay for the birth they put zero. The insurance rep I talked to on the phone this morning said it sounds like they filled it out wrong and thought they were supposed to put what Brian and I would owe at the time of delivery (which is zero since our insurance covers midwives). But I'm glad I called because I found out I needed to get pre-authorization for Home Health Care since the birth is not taking place in the hospital. I spent about an hour this morning over at the doctor's office so I could talk to the nurse for 2 minutes and request this authorization. She is filling out the paperwork and will be mailing it off to the insurance company.

9/17/2000 (Sunday)- I drove up to Issaquah today to have lunch with some high school friends (Shellie, Roni, Beth and Scott). I stopped at mom and dad's on the way up because they had some more baby stuff for us. We now have our baby bathtub that converts to a stepstool for later on, some crib sheets (we only had one!), some more bibs (little drool bibs and bigger feeding bibs), some larger onesies, booties, and a few other things. I also used mom's picture templates and cropped the photos from my shower back in August so I could put them in the baby book.

9/18/2000 (Monday)- Today I went down to Centralia to the Carter's Outlet Store and used my $50.00 gift certificate that I got from Ruby and Linda at work. I was able to get seven little outfits and two bibs and only had to shell out $3.64. I made sure I got some bigger things (6-9 months and 9-12 months) so she wouldn't outgrow it all by January.

9/22/2000 (Friday)- Yesterday I was walking through JCPenny's and saw they had nightgowns on sale so I picked up a comfy cotton nightgown that I can labor in. It's long enough that I can wander around the apartment without showing too much skin but light enough that I shouldn't get too hot.

I also bought a Bissell Quick Steamer Plus so I could steam clean the carpets. We have light beige carpet that seems to show every little thing. Some of the stains that were there before we moved in will probably never come out but I'm really happy with what it does get up. Hey, as long as the dirty water tank has dirty water in it when I'm done, I'm happy. I did some of the living room last night and this morning I worked on the computer room (I'll have to go over that again) and some other areas in the living room.

Today I went back to JCPenny's and bought a second nightgown (just because) a nursing bra, and some side snap infant t-shirts. When they are newborns and still have their umbilical cord stump, you are not supposed to put pressure on it and I'm worried the onesies will do that and restrict the air flow and make it take longer to dry and fall off. I also got my birth ball today. It's really just a big blue physio-therapy ball but it works great. I think that's what most "birth balls" are anyway. A lady in town who does massage sells them and was referred to me by one of the women in my childbirth class. Best of all I only had to pay $16.50 for it when the cheapest I could find online was $24.95 (plus shipping and handling of course). Now during labor I have something comfortable to sit on or lean across and after birth I plan on using it as my computer chair.

Everything else seems to be going great except we are still having some insurance problems. Now they are saying they won't pay for the homebirth because it is not a covered procedure. My primary care physician sent me paperwork referring me back to my old OB/GYN and a delivery at St. Peter Hospital. Grrrr! Doesn't the insurance company realize it is cheaper to do a homebirth? You'd think they'd jump all over paying less money. We are currently looking into increasing the amount of a loan we already have because we may be forking over $2000 of our own money to have this baby.

9/26/2000 (Tuesday)- Had my 37 week appointment today with the midwife. Yeah! I can officially go into labor anytime now and not have to worry about transfer to the hospital because of preterm labor. Of course that also means she has to arrive sometime before I get to 42 weeks and 3 days so I don't have to go because I'm too far overdue. She better not hang out for another 5 and a half weeks!

Everything looked pretty good. My blood pressure was a little higher than it has been (104/78) but still well within the normal range and fundal height is 38 cm. I gained two pounds in the last two weeks for a total weight gain of 26 pounds so far. Beverly wanted to retest my iron to see if the result at the end of August was just a fluke or if my iron really is that good. It's still up there. She said most non-pregnant women don't have such good iron counts. I'm just an over achiever I guess. :) She did a mini physical on me (heart, lungs, ears, reflexes, lymph nodes, etc.) and said everything looks great.

We did another swab to retest for Group B Strep. Even though the test at 33 weeks came back negative we just wanted to make sure it is still negative so we can be prepared with antibiotics at delivery if it is not. I'm pretty sure it will still be negative but it is more a piece of mind thing.

The best news of all came later this evening. Debra, the other midwife, called (she was on a retreat today and not at the appointment) to let us know that she had received the second set of Verification of Insurance Benefits forms back from the insurance company and they say the insurance will pay 100%! Debra said it is all in the wording and what code they bill under and such to get around all of the red tape. I am so relieved. I have been pretty stressed out the past few days trying to figure out how we were going to pay for this.

Next Wednesday is the home visit by the midwives. All we are waiting for now is Tessa!

9/27/2000 (Wednesday)- Well, Tessa must have heard me because this looks like it might be the beginning of the end. Last night I had three contractions. They happened at 9:33, 9:43 and 9:55pm. That was it as far as I know because I went to bed soon after. Those contractions must have been enough to open up my cervix at least a little bit because this morning I noticed I had lost at least part of my mucus plug. (Sorry for the graphic descriptions, they will probably increase from here on out!)

I went back to work this morning after two and a half weeks off and several people commented that it looked like I was carrying lower than the last time they saw me. I hadn't really noticed but that might have happened in the night and I just wasn't paying attention this morning. I can definitely feel that she is lower. It's kind of like having a billiard ball stuck in my pelvis. I'm not rushing to the bathroom every ten minutes so she definitely has more room to drop but I couldn't use my foot rest under my desk today because it brings my knees up too high and makes it feel like I'm squishing her.

Right now she is very active. I'm kind of hoping I'll have some more contractions tonight but I also see all the stuff I still need to get done around her before she arrives. I think we're ready though if she chooses the next few days to make her grand entrance.

9/29/2000 (Friday)- Well, here it is Friday evening and there is nothing new to report. After the excitement of Tuesday evening and Wednesday morning things have been frustratingly quiet. The baby pool at work is filling up so everyone has their date of choice. I put my money on Sunday the 1st so we'll just have to wait and see if anything happens in the next 48 hours or so. Looks like Tessa is going to be a typical female and make her grand entrance only when she has decided she is done primping and preening in there.

10/2/2000 (Monday)- I'm still pregnant. I've been having a ton of Braxton Hicks contractions all day yesterday and today but they are all really short and not falling into a regular pattern at all. I'm just hoping they are at least doing something and when my midwives come for our home visit on Wednesday evening they'll be able to tell me I'm already dilating. I keep thinking to myself, "okay, the next contraction will be a real one." I suppose if I keep thinking that way, eventually I'll be right! :)

10/4/2000 (Wednesday)- I did indeed make it to my home visit this evening. Debra and Beverly came at 6:00 this evening. Everything is still looking great. My fundal measurement is a bit ahead at 40 cm but I've been measuring ahead the whole time. Tessa is still head down and her heartrate was between 136 and 144. I'm still having a lot of Braxton Hicks contractions so I asked them to do an internal exam just to see if anything was going on in there. There certainly is. Tessa's head is at minus 2 station (She's still fairly high in the pelvic cavity. A zero station is when her head is just under the pelvic bone and at +4 station she is crowning), my cervix is 70% effaced (It is only 30% as thick as it was earlier in pregnancy. By the time I'm ready to deliver there won't be any cervix left which will be 100% effaced), and my cervix is 2 cm dilated (I need to get to 10 before I can push). So there is definite progress. Basically Debra said it could happen tonight or in another week or so but the end is definitely near.

I'm still having pretty good contractions but they are still really short in time so I'm not sure what to think or what to expect. I'm getting excited though!

10/5/2000 (Thursday)- Have you ever seen 852 diapers all at once? I have. They're sitting in our nursery! I work with the most amazing group of people. Without me knowing it, my friend Michele and my boss Suzi organized a raffle for a $20.00 Pizza Hut gift certificate. The price of a ticket was a package of diapers! At lunch today they emerged from the conference room with all these packages of Huggies and Pampers diapers (sizes newborn, 1 and 2) and dumped them at my feet. We figure averaging 10 diapers per day, we are set for about the first 3 months. David, the guy who won, bought us one of the huge 240 count boxes from Costco. He actually spent more than he won!

I put all the packages in front of the crib and took a picture of all of them. Now I have to find room to store them! Hopefully Tessa will be able to use them all before she gets too big. If not, my friend Mia at work is due in December so she may be getting diapers from us!

In other news, I'm still having contractions. About a dozen of them today were strong enough to make me stop keying until they were over. They still don't seem to be very long but at least from my exam last night I know that even these contractions are helping things along. I don't know when she'll decide to appear but we are definitely ready now!

10/10/2000 (Tuesday)- I went to the mall today with Michele. She bought Tessa the cutest little Tommy Hilfiger outfit. It has a denim overall dress, a little Tommy onesie, baseball cap, and two pairs of socks. We had to get it in the 6 to 9 month size to get all the pieces but I bet I'll have her in it before then. If I don't put it on her, I know Michele will be over here doing it for me! :)

I also had my 39 week midwife appointment today. All their other clients have delivered and I am next at bat, so to speak. They don't have anyone else due for several weeks after my due date. I also got to meet their new student midwife, Julie. Everything is still looking great. Fundal height is 40 cm, blood pressure was 118/64 and her heartrate was 146. My second Group B Strep test came back negative (just like the first) and the infection I had is all gone. As far as dilation and effacement, nothing has changed since last week but it sounds like my cervix is a bit softer than it was. We made another appointment for Tuesday the 17th but once again I am hoping I won't make it to my next appointment.

10/15/2000 (Sunday)- Pretty quiet weekend. She was pushing on my cervix a lot yesterday evening which doesn't feel too nice. Maybe that means she's dropped a little more. I went to work for awhile on Friday and got in a few more hours on my paycheck so that's a good thing. Went walking at the mall with Michele later that day. Maybe this is how young children feel during the holidays. They know Christmas is coming and they know that is a good thing but their concept of time is so fuzzy that when someone tells them Christmas is in a week or whatever, they don't really understand how far away that is. They just know that one morning they wake up and it's Christmas and they get presents. That's how I feel. I know Christmas is coming but no one will tell me exactly when. Anyway, still waiting.

10/17/2000 (Tuesday)- Had my 40 week appointment this afternoon. My cervix is now at about 80% effaced but no more progress as far as dilation goes. Blood pressure was good at 114/68. Her head is still pretty far up, higher than expected for 40 weeks so I'm really supposed to make sure I don't recline back at all when sitting and spend more time on the birth ball or sitting backwards in a chair instead. Looks like Brian gets my couch as much as he wants until Tessa arrives.

We also had a little scare with Tessa's heartrate. I have a hard time if I have to lay on my back because the weight of the baby presses on nerves and blood vessels and I get dizzy and nauseated and my blood pressure bottoms out. I was on my back while they measured the fundal height (41 and a half) and I had to ask if I could roll on my side before they found her heartrate because I had already broken into a sweat. I rolled over on my right side towards Debra and Julie and when they found her heartrate it was really low at 120. It gradually came back up though. Then I rolled over on my left side and Tessa started moving around and her heartrate went way up to 168. There is supposed to be an increase in heartrate when the baby moves but Debra was concerned because it stayed elevated for longer than usual. I closed my eyes and really concentrated on my breathing and it came back down to a normal rate of 148 but Debra wants me to come back on Friday to be hooked up to the monitor for a non-stress test. She's pretty sure the irregularities in the heartrate were due to my blood pressure drop when I was on my back but she just wants to make sure.

10/20/2000 (Friday)- My due date came and went two days ago but for a first baby that isn't unusual so I'm trying not to get too anxious. I started taking Evening Primrose Oil geltabs on Wednesday. This herb is supposed to help soften the cervix so it can dilate easier. I went back to the midwife today and did the non-stress test. Tessa passed with flying colors. Her heartrate peaked at about 169 when she moved and then dropped back down to her regular baseline in the low 140's after each movement. It didn't stay elevated for a long time like it had on Tuesday so Debra said Tessa had probably just been trying to compensate for the low heartrate when I was on my back. It's kind of funny that I can't lay on my back since that is how I would have to labor in the hospital. I would almost certainly end up with a c-section because they would see the low heartbeat as stress in the baby and decide they had to take her immediately. I wonder how many women could have avoided a unscheduled c-section if they had just rolled over on their side for awhile.

Anyway, Debra gave me some homeopathic blue and black cohosh to take for the next five days. They are little tiny white pellets that I let dissolve under my tongue. They are also supposed to help soften and prepare the cervix for labor. I go back at 1:00 on the 24th unless I've had her before then. (Still keeping my fingers crossed.)

10/23/2000 (Monday)- I've been up since a little after midnight. It is now 6:30 am. Contractions have been between 8 and 4 minutes apart and approximately 45 seconds to 1 minute long. They seem to be intensifying. According to the sheet I got from my midwives, I'm should wait to call them until after 9am unless my contractions are strong enough "to require complete concentration to maintain control". Some of them are strong but not that strong yet. I'll probably be waiting until 9:00 to call them.

I don't know if it had anything to do with getting this started but I did the castor oil thing last night. two doses, one at 6pm and the other at 10pm. 2 tablespoons castor oil, a shot of vodka (supposed to help with the absorption of the castor oil), and about 10 ounces of orange juice. Basically a screwdriver with castor oil in it. I drank it right out of the drink mixer so every few gulps I could put the lid back on and shake out the castor oil beads that would float to the surface. Not the most pleasant drink but if it got this started, I'm happy.

My parents are on their way down. They figured instead of driving all the way into Seattle to go to work only to have me call them later to drive down here, they'd just come down now and wait it out. I hope this is the real thing!

I tried to get some sleep earlier but the contractions are stronger when I lay down and being so close together there isn't really time to fall asleep between each one. So instead I've spent my morning watching VH1 and the news. Mom and Dad are bringing maple bars. Yum! I'm starving. I almost bought some yesterday but didn't. Now I wish I had.

Anyway, later I will either be posting another pregnancy update or a birth announcement!

10/23/2000 (Monday) Continued- It is now 7:00pm. Well, mom and dad arrived around 7:45am. We all sat and watched TV as I got more and more frustrated because my contractions were starting to space themselves out more, not get closer together. I called one of my midwives at 9:00 to let her know what was going on. She wanted me to eat something (besides a donut) and try to take a nap. I had a few more contractions as I lay but then I slept like a rock because they completely stopped. Mom and Dad has gone out shopping and Brian was at work so I just had to answer a few calls from Michele and my midwife and let the phone guy in but besides that I've been sleeping most of the day. I took a walk with mom and dad because it was a beautiful day around 2:30 before they headed home at 3:00. I guess today wasn't the day. :(

10/24/2000 (Tuesday)- Had a midwife appointment today. After a good cry at the beginning of my appointment we got on with the regular visit. Not sure exactly what was wrong. I think I'm just getting a bit frustrated because this is something I can't control. I also worry about her all the time and just want her HERE so at least I have some ability to make sure she is safe and secure.

They did another non-stress test and that looked great again. Good movement and heartrate accelerations. My blood pressure was 108/70. She did an internal exam to see if all my contractions had done anything. My cervix is very soft and almost completely effaced but I am still only at 2cm and the inner part is still closed. She was very concerned about the fact that not only has Tessa's head not dropped, it seems to be even higher than it was a week ago, almost at a -4 station. She said it felt like her head was stuck on my pelvic bone and just didn't want to come down past it.

She gave a quick call to a chiropractor friend of hers who just happened to be in the office on his day off (he was catching up on paperwork). He said he could see me if I came over right then. He adjusted my hips and then did a few other things that slid her head past my pubic bone. He said there was no guarantee it would stay engaged but at least it is for now. He said I have a "huge placenta" (I don't know how he can tell just by feeling my stomach but he's the expert) and he thought the weight of the placenta might be pulling the uterus forward (the placenta is attached to the front wall of my uterus) and pulling her head out of alignment with the birth canal along with it. Now it looks like my sitting backwards in a chair and leaning forward might have done more harm than good. It kept my pelvis open wide but also assisted her in falling too far forward. Grrr!

Tomorrow I am driving out to Eatonville to pick up a belly belt from Debra that she said I could borrow. It should help to keep her head engaged by keeping my lower tummy up and in so her head can't fall forward again. We need her to drop and get her head engaged on the pelvis for anything to really start happening. they can't do much of anything as far as invasive treatments with her head so far up because if my water breaks at this point there is a chance that the umbilical cord can come down and get flattened between the cervix and her head. Not good. That's as bad as crimping the air hose of a deep sea diver.

Anyway, another day, another lesson learned. Hopefully with this adjustment she'll settle down in my pelvis in the next few days and things will start up for real. If this works it will be the best $35 I have ever spent!

10/25/2000 (Wednesday)- Well, I am now either officially a week late or this is my due date depending on which one is more accurate. When I saw my midwife today she said if I go into next week (please no!) we'll schedule an ultrasound to try and determine gestational age to buy me another week before a hospital induction would be required.

Anyway, I drove out to Eatonville and picked up the belly belt. It is quite unattractive but pretty comfortable. Just annoying since I have to undo part of it to go to the bathroom. I suppose I could wear it under my pants and not have to undo it but it is quite large on me so the extra kind of hangs off the sides as these big flaps and would probably be uncomfortable inside my pants.

Debra did an internal while I was there. She and Beverly had been here in town last night doing a home visit and had called to see how the chiropractor appointment went. She was pretty excited to hear he was able to get her head down below my pelvic bone. Well, sometime between seeing the chiropractor yesterday and my internal today she popped back out. I wasn't very happy as you might imagine. On my way back to Olympia I swung by the chiropractic office to make an appointment for Saturday. He told me yesterday he would be in the office for awhile Saturday and if she popped back out we'd try it again. His receptionist said he could see me today if I wanted. This time he really didn't have to adjust me at all, he just pushed on her head and she slid right back under my pubic bone. I put the belly belt back on but I really can't tell if she has stayed there or not. He told me to try and stay off my feet tonight so I've been mostly laying on the couch since I got home at 3:30. I see Debra again on Friday and if she has come back out I'll go see him early Saturday morning and then rush home and try the castor oil thing again. If we can just get her head down in there and some contractions started, I should be good to go. If that doesn't work, we're kind of running out of options.

I need to go to work tomorrow and Friday for at least part of the day so I can claim for unemployment for this week. They really frown on you taking their money if there was work available but you "refused an offer of work". I guess I better gather up some of the things I cleaned out of my desk 2+ weeks ago. :(

10/27/2000 (Friday)- We were awakened this morning by a phone call from my midwife. She said she just had to make sure of the position of the baby so she had called St Peter Hospital and made arrangements for me to go over and have an ultrasound done. They could see me NOW. Apparently she had been discussing my case with some other midwives and they freaked her out saying maybe Tessa was really breech and that's why she wasn't dropping. Debra told me in all the years she had been doing this she had never been wrong about position but she just had to make sure. Brian and I jumped up, took showers, and headed across the street. We spent more time checking in at admitting than we did in the ultrasound room.

She is indeed head down. I could have told them that! The tech quickly swept the ultrasound wand over the rest of her body. She asked if we knew the sex. I said it is supposed to be a girl. She said "that's what it looks like, I don't see anything sticking out." I guess that's a good enough confirmation of gender. End of ultrasound. Lasted about 45 seconds and they'll probably bill insurance $300 for that.

Anyway, Brian went with me to see Debra this afternoon. We did another non-stress test. Tessa wasn't quite as cooperative this time and kept moving away so we were having a hard time getting a good reading on the strip but she passed with no problems. We did another internal just to check to see if she had moved down at all. I was pretty sure she had because last night and today I have had a lot of cervical twinges that I wasn't having a few days ago. Sure enough, she's moved down some. Not as far as we'd like but she is no longer above my pubic bone. My cervix has also dilated a little bit more. I'm supposed to keep wearing the belly belt and I see the chiropractor tomorrow morning at 9:30. Even though she hasn't popped back out, Debra is hoping that one more adjustment will ease her down in there a little farther. When we get home I'll try the castor oil again.

We have also changed my due date AGAIN. Now we are considering the 23rd my official due date instead of the 18th. That means I am only 4 days overdue, not 9. If nothing else it buys us some more time that I wouldn't have to be transferred back to OB care and deliver at the hospital. So overall it was a good day in the baby department. I feel more relaxed knowing she is at least not stuck anymore. Plus our DSL is finally back up so I don't have to dial in to check my mail. Yeah!

10/28/2000 (Saturday)- It's now 8:30pm and there isn't much to report. Last night and this morning I lost my mucus plug. I don't know what it was I thought I lost a little of a few weeks ago but it wasn't mucus plug. This was definitely mucus plug. Yuck. I went up to the pool for a quick swim last night. That felt good. I didn't swim very long because I had this fear that I would float her back out of my pelvis after all we did to get her there. This morning I was laying in bed and Tessa was wiggling around a lot. Suddenly I felt her move farther down into my pelvis. It was really weird but a pretty cool feeling too. She is definitely down in there. I went to the chiropractor at 9:30 this morning. He could feel her shoulder now where her head used to be. He said everything looks good.

When we got home I did my dose of castor oil. My midwife said I didn't take enough last time so this time I did 2 oz (1/4 cup) mixed in the blender with orange juice and vanilla ice cream. It wasn't too bad. I just had to drink it fast. I did have some contractions between 2:00 and about 3:30 but they were 12 to 15 minutes apart and when I took a nap around 3:45 they quit. Guess she's not ready yet. I was hoping they would start up again but they haven't so far. So here I am still at approximately 5 days past due. Even though that is not unusual, I am getting really restless.

I'm not sure what I am going to do about work on Monday if I make it until then. I took some vacation time for this past Thursday and Friday but I can't use too much of the vacation hours I have because I need to submit hours each pay period while I am gone to retain my medical benefits. Now that she is down in my pelvis I suppose I can just go to work because I don't really need to stay laying down as much as last week. I just know I am going to be dead tired after an 8 hour day. Oh well, maybe I won't make it until Monday. :)

10/30/2000 (Monday)- I went in and worked a full 8 hour shift today. I actually don't feel that bad, just a little tired. I'll go lay down for awhile in a few minutes here. I had contractions on and off all day but they weren't any different than the contractions I've been having for the last 3 weeks. The comments from co-workers were not as bad as I had thought. Lots of "You're still here?" and "You haven't had that baby yet?". Quite a few what I would call "looks of pity" from many others. The only question that really bugged me was, "When are you going to have that baby?" Gee, if I knew that I would have done a better job picking lotto numbers for the 32 million last weekend. It's almost as if they think I am overdue on purpose. Oh well.

I forgot to mention that one of my midwives leaves tomorrow for Hawaii. She'll be gone for a week. She didn't mention it before because she didn't want me to feel any added pressure to deliver before she left but she told me on Friday since I'd have to know sooner or later. Her partner Beverly and their student midwife will both be around but unless Tessa decides to hang out for another week, I think Debra is going to miss the birth. I have to go into work a half an hour early tomorrow so I can get off in time to get to my 3:30 appointment with Beverly. Brian was mentioning the other day that here we are, right across the street from the hospital and on the same street as every medical specialty you could ever need and I pick a midwife in Yelm and a chiropractor in Rainier. Approximately a half an hour drive to both. :)

10/31/2000 (Tuesday)- Happy Halloween! Well, I had told everyone at work that I would bring Tessa in to the Halloween potluck. I did just that but not as I had hoped. Looks like our October baby is going to be a November baby.

I worked another full day today. Well, kind of worked. It was hard to really work with all the sweets, costumes and general merry making going on. I went in about 45 minutes early this morning so I could get to my midwife appointment on time. Brian took today off since he probably won't have many more chances to have the apartment all to himself so I swung by here and picked him up. He got to meet Julianne, the student midwife, so that was nice. We did another non-stress test but Tessa wasn't being too cooperative and slept through most of it. She had been really active earlier today because of the sugar I had eaten but just didn't want to move when we wanted her too. Beverly wants to try again when I go back on Friday. Everything else looked good. She is still pretty high and I haven't dilated anymore but I'm not supposed to stress about it because she could drop at anytime and things could get going. Beverly suggested I try to see the chiropractor again tomorrow. I'll have to call in the morning and see if they can get me in. Looks like I'll be missing some work tomorrow. Oh well. I'm willing to try anything at this point.

11/1/2000 (Wednesday)- We've made it to November. At the beginning of October had anyone told me I would still be pregnant come November I would have laughed in their face. As the month wore along I would have punched them. :)

Today started off pretty bad. As soon as I arrived at work the lady who sits next to me felt the need to comment on the fact that I'm still pregnant at which point I promptly broke down into tears and pretty much sobbed for the next half hour. It's hard to key when you can't see the numbers on the page. It was not a good morning. I called the chiropractor at 9am and found out they basically have a walk in policy (small town, small practice) and they would be in from 9am to noon and 2pm to 6pm. I told the secretary I'd be in around 2:00. I called Beverly to let her know and made arrangements to meet her at her office around 3:00. Since I was going to be in the area already, we may as well do the non-stress test today.

A little after 11:00 the Data Entry section all went over to the General Administration building for a potluck lunch. We got back to work about 1:00 so I shut down my computer and found Brian and we headed out to Rainier. Dr. Joe (the chiropractor) did another adjustment on me. He said it felt like she was kind of twisted funny and was trying to wedge her shoulder down in there with her head. Her head was partially engaged so he got it the rest of the way back down in there. He told me a few things I could do here at home as far as sitting and laying positions I could use to encourage her to stay put.

After we left there we headed over to Yelm to see Beverly. I took a can of Coke with me to drink to try and get her to wake up. She did and we got a really good monitoring strip this time. Good movements and heartrate accelerations and I even had a few contractions (very minor, I only knew they were there because of the monitor) that she tolerated very well. I go back to see Beverly again on Friday afternoon.

11/2/2000 (Thursday)- I took today off work. I just didn't feel like facing everyone and answering questions. Brian went to work and did it for me. :) I suppose there will be people tomorrow who ask since I wasn't there today but I'm expecting that. I slept in until almost 9:00 and then went and got my hair trimmed. It's been driving me nuts but looks a lot better now. I didn't have her cut too much because I wanted to still be able to pull it back in a ponytail since that will probably be my hairstyle of choice for awhile. Sometime after Tessa arrives I'll recolor it (the ends are still really light from the summer and then dark on top) and get a perm so it doesn't just hang there like it does now. :( I also took a nap which was nice.

I was supposed to have lunch today with a friend from our childbirth class. She was due on the 26th and also planning a homebirth. Through all of our e-mails back and forth it was apparent that we were both going through the same things as far as people asking questions and wanting to know when we were going to be induced and all. We were going to commiserate. Well, I called her this morning and got her voice mail and when I didn't hear back I figured she got busy at work. She called just before 5:00 this evening to let me know their 8 lb. 5 oz. little girl arrived this morning at 10:30! She was a little too busy to have lunch. :) I'm really happy for her and her husband but also extremely jealous. Like Jackie said on the Roseanne show when she was pregnant, "I don't think it's ever coming out. I'm going to be a 50 year old woman with a 20 year old person inside of me."

Anyway, I see Beverly again tomorrow at 3:00 for another non-stress test. I won't be sorry to see an end to those. I'm still debating whether I am going to go in an hour early to work at 6am so I can get off an hour early and still get in an 8 hour day or if I'm just going to lose an hour and call it good. I'll have to see how well I sleep tonight I guess.

11/3/2000 (Friday)- Went back to work today. Most people gave me a wide berth (no pun intended, I'm not that big!) and I only got a few stupid questions. I feel kind of bad because I was a little rude to some people and just told them I didn't want to talk about it. If I knew when she was going to arrive I'd tell everyone. I can't really blame them though, even one of the little girls next door asked me this afternoon, "Did you get your baby out yet?" It was cute. I actually had mild contractions all day long. They woke me at 4:30 and were pretty consistent until about 9am. From 6:30 to 8:30 I timed them and they were between 12 and 14 minutes apart. They continued (and I'm still having some now) but I stopped keeping track.

I left work about 2:30 (I did end up going in early at 6am) and headed out to see Beverly. Tessa was really active through the whole non-stress test so we got a really good monitor strip. If I make it into next week we will schedule a biophysical profile. They do it at the hospital in conjunction with an ultrasound and check for amniotic fluid levels, the baby's reflexes, heartrate, placental age, and some other stuff that will let us know if it is okay to let her cook some more or if it's time to start thinking of some more invasive options. Beverly said I could try the castor oil again tomorrow if I wanted as long as I get a good nights sleep tonight and I needed to do the first dose early like around 8am.

She offered to do an internal exam today but I declined. I figured if I was still at the same place as last time I'd just get depressed and if I have made some progress, great, we'll find that out when I go into labor.

11/5/2000 (Sunday)- It is almost 1:00 on Sunday and still nothing new. Castor oil yesterday did nothing. Still having contractions but they are very mild and only sometimes are they in any sort of pattern. Tomorrow I'll be at 42 weeks.

It's about 5:30 pm now. Contractions stopped hours ago. I had another good cry. I don't want to go to work tomorrow. Maybe I'll only work part days or something. I am definitely making myself a sign to put on the back of my chair asking people not to ask me stupid baby questions. For heavens sake, even the elephant at the Woodland Park Zoo had her baby already. Time to come out Tessa.

11/7/2000 (Tuesday)- Yesterday I went in and worked 5 hours. Today I only made it three hours. I had a really bad headache and seems to be more swollen than usual so I came home and lay down. My headache went away and some of the swelling went down so I felt much better. Brian had taken the day off so we headed out to Yelm for my appointment at about 1:30. My blood pressure was good and there was no protein in my urine so at least I don't have toxemia. We did another non-stress test and Tessa passed again. We decided to go ahead and do an internal exam this time. I'm glad we did. Beverly said she could feel Tessa's head now and it it nicely engaged on the cervix. Yeah! I guess the $135 we spent at the chiropractor was worth it. She also said the inner part of my cervix is now 2 cm dilated where as before it was closed and only the outer part was open. She did a little bit of stripping of my membranes (not too painful) and said she could feel the cervix move forward and she could stretch it to 3 cm as she did it.

We went ahead and scheduled a biophysical profile across the street at St Pete's for tomorrow at 4:30pm. Since I'll be at 42 weeks and 2 days we just want to make sure everything is looking okay even though it seems I've made progress as far as dilation goes. We talked about options if everything looked okay and options for if things didn't look okay. Basically at this point it is my choice and if I want to be induced I can be but I may try the castor oil once more before we resort to pitocin or cytotec. I need to do some research on that anyway.

11/8/2000 (Wednesday)- I ended up not going to work at all today. Last night at 6:00pm Brian had to go into work and her finally arrived home at 1:00 this afternoon, 19 hours later. I didn't sleep very well because I kept waking up about every half hour to see if he was home. I paged him around 5:30 am and asked him if he would please tell one of my supervisors that I wouldn't be in today. Working in the same building definitely has its perks.

Anyway, I spent the day relaxing and getting some housework done. I'm really trying to keep up on stuff around here just in case. Brian got home at 1:00 and decided not to take a nap because we had to be at the hospital in about 4 hours and he was afraid once he went to sleep he wouldn't want to get back up. We headed across the street about 4:15 and got checked in but didn't get called into Radiology until almost 5:00. The biophysical profile took about an hour to do. The only unpleasant part was when she adjusted the table so my head was lower than my legs. She was trying to get a head circumference measurement but Tessa was too well engaged in the pelvis so she was trying to get her to slide back towards my ribs a bit so she could get in under her head. I couldn't stay like that for too long before I started feeling dizzy and nauseated. We did get two nice pictures of her profile. You can see her forehead, nose and lips pretty well. Looks like she still has my nose. :)

After she was done she had me wipe all the gel off my tummy and go wait in the waiting room while they called my midwife. About 15 minutes later she came out and said, "Ok, your doctor says you can go home." Okay. That's it? How about telling us how she is doing? I was barely in the car when I called Debra to see what they had said. She was surprised that they hadn't shared the results with me. Anyway, Tessa got a 6 out of 8. She would have received an 8 out of 8 but she didn't move during the ultrasound so they couldn't do their version of a non-stress test and look for heartrate accelerations during movement. Debra wasn't really concerned about that since we have been doing non-stress tests twice a week for awhile now and they have all looked good. Typically they look at 5 parameters and each one is given a score of 0 to 2 so they must have only looked at 4 of the different criteria. They are supposed to assess 1) amniotic fluid level, 2) fetal movement, 3) fetal muscle tone 4) fetal breathing movements and 5) fetal activity. I know she measured amniotic pockets and she showed us her "breathing" so those two were checked.

We also found out that her head has a circumference of 35 cm which is a diameter of 11 cm. Pretty typical head size. They also estimated her current weight to be 4100 grams which is a big, healthy 9.04 lbs. Yikes! I hope they are overestimating a bit. They also think my due date isn't until tomorrow!! I don't know how they can say that. Typically an ultrasound done after the 12th week can not accurately date a pregnancy since all babies grow at different rates. I don't know what to think anymore.

But the bottom line is she is doing fine but Debra says it is still my call. She knows how anxious I have been. Apparently one of the doctors they consult with in Tacoma uses Cytotec for induction and he will let you come into the hospital where he places the cytotec capsule in the cervix to dissolve. He wants you to stay for a few hours to be monitored to make sure you don't have a reaction and that there is no fetal distress, but if it looks like it is working properly he'll let you go home to deliver. That would be perfect. Get a little push from modern medicine but still be able to do our homebirth. That wouldn't be until next week sometime though so hopefully she'll decide to arrive on her own before then.

11/9/2000 (Thursday)- Stayed home from work again today. I kind of played it by ear. I didn't set my alarm and figured if I woke up and it was time to get ready for work (I usually wake up about 5 minutes before my alarm is set to go off), I'd go. I guess I didn't since Michele called at 7:30 and woke me up. Brian was supposed to have the day off but ended up going in anyway to help fix some problems they were having.

Michele and I had lunch downtown at noon. Then I swung by Fred Meyer and exchanged a package of newborn diapers for some size 2's. We have a lot of size 1 diapers so I thought I'd get the bigger ones. I also went to Target and exchanged a few things we got more than one of at the showers. I got some warm 12 month sleepers instead. They didn't have any little ones so I figured I'd get them for next winter.

I think Tessa is going to come out orange. It is satsuma mandarin time of the year again and I have already eaten my way through three 5 pound boxes in less than a week. I just love those things. I can eat 5 or 6 of them as a snack. Better than cookies I guess. It just isn't the holidays unless my thumb nail is stained orange from peeling them. :) Now I just have to warn my midwives so they don't think Tessa has jaundice. Nope, just my satsuma habit!

I've been having quite a few contractions this evening. Kind of had them off and on since about 1:00 this afternoon but now they are pretty noticeable. I'm not going to get my hopes up but since I haven't had any in about 3 days, it's nice to know something is going on again.

11/14/2000 (Tuesday)- Please see the main Crib Notes page for an update. She's here!!

10 Lessons Learned During Pregnancy
Just a few things I've learned during this whole adventure.

1) Refuse all internal exams until your final week of pregnancy. Being dilated at 37 weeks means NOTHING.

2) If you are dilated and effaced at 37 weeks, tell no one. Too much pressure from yourself and others every single day after that.

4) A usually highly rational, level headed woman when not pregnant will more than likely be a raving lunatic during her first trimester.

6) Accept every offer of second hand baby items you receive. If you don't need something, return them or pass them on.

7) Your husband can't read your mind. Tell him what you want and/or need him to do.

8) Don't buy too many newborn clothes in case you find out the baby is going to be big and won't wear them very long.

10) All the planning and preparing in the world can not prepare you for your birth experience when it finally arrives.